Adventures in Southeast Asia

I'll Have the Ghekko on the Rocks Please!

2006-07-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

The Lonely Planet travel guide (aka: the Backpacker's Bible) described Highway 4 in Hanoi Vietnam as a "must visit" bar and restaurant. So I HAD to visit. Can't argue with Lonely Planet.

My friend April and I decided to check out after dinner and sample their multitude of after dinner liquers. What's so special about this place, you might ask. Just image your basic vodka infusion bar in Los Angeles. Large vats of fruit steeping in vodka. Watermelon vodka. Orange vodka. Coffee vodka. Even saw jalepeno vodka once. Now substitue vodka with rice wine and luscious fruits with repulsive bugs, insects, and various other creepy crawly things you hope NEVER make it into your food. The highly recommended Highway 4 is famed for their various rice wine infusions such as Gecko Wine: "A strong punchy blend of ghekko and indigenous flower stem, with a sharp dry finish," Silkworm Wine, "Made from yellow silkworms, this liquor is a yeasty blend with hints of baked bread and honeyed straw complexities," Black Bee Wine, "Made from precious black bees and their hive. A cooling and refreshing liquor with a clean honey taste," and Seahorse and Starfish Wine, "An extremely potent liquor with marine overtones. Get ready for the Poseidon adventure!"

As we walked in the door there was no denying the truth of these recipes as we took in the array of large glass containers with tiny ghekko faces smashed up against the clear glass. All I could think was, "how long does it take to steep a ghekko? A week? A couple months? Years? How long has that poor little guy been trapped in that jar?" Next to him was a large vat of steeping snakes then a vat of steeping bees. My stomach was starting to turn. I'm always up for trying something new, but do I really need to drink liquid starfish?

The waiter ushered us upstairs, showed us our seats, and handed us the drink list. As I read the menu I learned that Vietnamese rice wines are consumed for their medicinal properties. For example, silkworm liquor cures coughs and sore throats, while Linh Chi mushroom liquor is said to increase intellectual capacities. I wondered which one would soothe the vomiting insued by consuming the 5 Snakes, "a soft tempting bouquet and sprightly tasting liquor made from 2 cobras, 2 kraits, and 1 grass snake, known to treat backaches.

Luckily, there were other "safe" choices on the menu such as the Young Sticky Wine Liquer and the Apricot Wine, which we ordered and thoroughly enjoyed without incident. Our less adventurous ways probably defeated the purpose of going to Highway 4, but watching my friend April accidentily wash her hands in the men's urinal thinking it was the sink, made the whole experience worth while.

So I may not be able to tell you what ghekko seeped in rice wine tastes like, but I can say that the Vietnamese need to lower the placement of urinals so as not to confuse the tourists.

Under What Conditions Would You Eat Dog Paws?

2006-07-17T03:01:00.000-07:00

Sapa, Vietnam. A small village community North in the mountains. Its 7 am. I just spent 10 hours on a train and survived the hour long windy, nauseating uphill bus ride. Sitting at a cafe on the mountainside. Views of God's planet that could make you weep.

I'm sitting next to a young a girl, and I hear an American accent. I ask her where she's from.
"San Luis Obispo," she tells me. Ah! Another California girl. Then... her mobile phone rings. Suddenly, fluent Vietnamese spews forth as she answers. I listen to the conversation in awe. When she hangs up, I have a million questions. "How do you speak Vietnamese?" I start off with. I mean, its not often that someone from a small coastal town in California can rattle off in Vietnamese. She explains that she works for a company doing community development and has been living in Vietnam for the past two years. She studied Vietnamese in college and has been speaking it and studing it for the last 8 years. I immediately think she's the coolest chick I've ever met. "Do you ever sit silently with a group of Vietnamese people and hear them talking about you? Then chim in in Vietnamese and freak their shit out????" I ask.

"Yeah. Sometimes," she tells me. "It actually happens a lot."
"I knew it!" I tell her. "I always have this feeling they're talking about me in front of me behind my back... you know what I mean?" And she did. We both laugh.

She goes on tell me that she's working on an assignment in Sapa helping the Black H'Muong hilltribe people work with the government to develop more modern irrigation systems that blend in with the technology the H'Muong have used for centuries. We then begin to discuss the cultural differences between she and the people of Vietnam. Among other things, she tells me she's a vegetarian. I am too, so I ask if this has been rough on her. "It has," she says. "Sometimes people invite you into their home and they're extremely poor and they want so much to welcome you into their home and honor you. And they'll offer you the one piece of pork they have for the entire week and it would be extremely disrespectful to refuse."

I see her point and wonder if I too would eat it so as not to offend anyone. But then she tells me the most horrible thing I've ever heard. Apparently, dog is a delicacy in Vietnam. Its only served on very very special occasions. And one time she was invited into someone's home as their guest of honor and out of respect for her, they sauteed up this pooch and served it to her. She couldn't refuse. With much reluctance and a lot of gag reflexes in play, she forced herself to eat it. She was managing okay until she looked over and saw the man of the house gnawing on a dog paw with toe nails fully intact.

That was the last time she let herself get invited anywhere for dinner!

Sleeping with Rats and Roaches

2006-07-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

After much research on the web, April told me that we MUST take a trip to Halong Bay. And I have to say, it was one of the most beautiful, breathtaking places I have ever seen.

We took a three hour bus ride to the port, then boarded a "junk boat." It was described to us beforehand as rather fancy ship with a/c and plush accomodations.

This was a bit of hyperbole, however. It was a ratty old boat that we would soon learn was invested with both rats and roaches.

Now... living in Florida for many years, I can deal with roaches. Not very well, but I can deal. The idea of them crawling on me in the middle of the night, skeeves me out, but its manageable. RATS! That's a whole other ball game.

After putting my stuff in the 6 foot by 6 foot sleeping quarters and watching the roaches romp all over the sheets, I made my way to the deck and took a deep breath. "Okay," I thought. "you're not one of those wussy girls, you can deal with this." Then I glanced over and saw a HUGE rat run up the stairs, dash across the deck and hide under a loose piece of wood... okay! I have my limits.

I quickly starting planning my escape from the boat. "I'm a good swimmer," I thought. "I can make it to shore." Realizing this wasn't really an option, I thought of plan b. I'll just sleep on the deck. On the lounge chair. In the open air. Under the stars. I mean, the view from the boat was paradise, and if I come across a rat in the middle of the night, at least I can quickly jump overboard.

So after enjoying the day (this place was truly amazing), we all shared a bottle of wine, then hunkered down for the night. As everyone made their way to their rat traps, I curled up comfortably on the deck chair and fell asleep... only to be awoken several hours later by rain. It drizzled at first, and I convinced myself that I could deal, but then it really started coming down.

At this point I had no choice. I went down to the cabin where April was sleeping and curled myself into ball in the corner of the mattress and prayed for the best. I managed to fall asleep, but at some point during the night April flinched and hit my leg with her arm and I went screaming and flying out of the bed, "RAT!" Then, of course, April jumped and also started screaming, "KILL IT KILL IT!"

But luckily, there was no rat. I didn't really sleep much the rest of the night, and by morning we all gathered for breakfast and comisserated about the investation. One girl awoke to her toothpaste container gnawed to death. At least it stuck to toiletries and didn't make its way to human flesh!!!

My Vagina Compass is Working Full Force

2006-07-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

My friend April and I arrived safely in Hanoi, Vietnam ready to explore. I was a little paranoid, however, after having lost all my credit cards and money in Thailand... constantly checking and rechecking my fanny-pack for my money. But turmoil followed me anyway. April and took a communal taxi into the heart of the city. They let out the first group of people at their hotel then took us to ours. We stepped out, went around to the trunk for luggage and it was all gone! Someone had taken both our bags. I was about ready to throw up my hands, give up and go home.

We argued for a few minutes with our driver, who refused to take us back and hunt down the other tourists. Then April found someone willing to take her to the other hotel on the back of their motorbike. I waited unpatiently, making a list in my head of all the things in my suitcase that would need to be replaced. I couldn't BELIEVE this was how we were starting our trip. I felt cursed. But then, about 15 minutes later, April returned with both our bags. Apparently the other tourists had accidently taken them. Round one of disasters avoided!

The next morning we began our tour. Unlike Thailand, Vietnam has peddled "tuk tuks" and not motorized, so we hired a driver to take us around. Now, I should preface beforehand, that the money conversion from dollars to the Vietnamese Dong is complicated. Lots of zeros. That said, April negotiated the price of our ride. We climb into the "cab" and she says, "he's only charging us like 10 cents for the ride! How cool is that??!!"
So I asked "how much is it?"
"only 50,000 dong an hour per person!"
"Um... April, that's 6 dollars an hour, not 10 cents."
She just looked at me blankly, "oops."

The good news is that separately, she and I have only have half a brain in all this heat (its about 110 degrees with 100 percent humidity). But together, we somehow manage to get around without self-destructing. When I lived in San Francisco, I once toured the city in a car filled with drag queens and one of them said to me, "honey, you can find your way anywhere! Your vagina is like compass!" Good news is that the vagina compass works in Asia as well. April calls it my special "super Xmen power." So I keep charge of money conversion and directions and April, who's ultra organized, plans out our excursions. So together, we've been a pretty good team.

So... after several hours with our tour guide, we paid him the 20 dollars for our "10 cent" trip. But with his help we managed to see lots of Hanoi. The motorbikes are overwhelming. There's no less than 100 per square foot. Tons of them just jammed onto the street. And there doesn't seem to be any traffic laws. People just honk at ever intersection and just hope for the best. Its a little disconcerting as a pedestrian because you have to just step out into mobs of traffic and pray that the cyclists don't run you over. So far, I'm still alive, but with my luck so far, who knows how long that will last! But as long as the vagina compass keeps working hopefully we'll fare alright!

Ps. Check back for pictures

Floating down the Shopping River

2006-07-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

Took a side trip (a frickin' 2 hour bus ride in 100 degree heat with no a/c) to one of Bangkok's floating markets. The mini bus dropped us off at this woman's home on the river. She ushered us, in Thai, to go sit outside and eat food she had prepared. Me, John and his friend (both from Sweden), took a seat outside, ate some strange gelataneous conconction and drank some instant coffee while we waited for our boat driver.

Finally, we loaded up onto the long boat and headed down the river to the MASSIVE floating market. It was overwhelming in every way. Tons of boats filled with everything from fruit, vegetables, to Thai crafts.

We even passed the is guy who looked just like Jackie Chan, selling woodcarvings.

And we ate lunch from one of the boats.

Food was awesome. So far, I have managed to not get ill! Knock on wood!

After the 4 hour bus ride back to the city (traffic sucks!!!!), I toured the city some more.

So... there you go! Left Bangkok yesterday and I'm off to Vietnam this afternoon!

Elephants in the City

2006-07-06T02:27:00.000-07:00

In one of my night adventures out in Bangkok, I was simply walking down the street when I was grabbed by what I thought was someone's hand. I turned to find a giant trunk in my face.

This thing was just reaching up at me! It was a baby elephant.
"Elephant hungry!" yelled the man standing next to it. "Give food!" He handed me a bag of sugar cane and told me to feed him.

I held out the sugar cane and he grabbed it up, much to my amusement! What can I say... I'm a sucker for a big trunk ;-)

Grossest Sign in Singapore

2006-07-06T02:22:00.000-07:00

Funniest Sign in all of Thailand...

2006-07-06T00:14:00.000-07:00

Trekking Through the Jungle in Koh Samui

2006-07-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

Spent one afternoon trekking and hiking through the jungle to get to an amazing waterfall.

After about an hour of steady uphill climbing. I found it!

It was gorgeous with huge pools of water to swim in.

Cooled off in the water, climbed back down and hung out with the elephants and monkeys while I waited for the downpour of rain to stop.

Managed to get home on the motorcycle without getting killed, since I was riding in rain. I was pretty drenched though. Luckily, the view from my 10 dollar a night bungalow on the beach soothed me!

Then headed out for the best pad thai of my life! (yes! My hair is out of control. It's like 100 percent humidity.)

Universals: Trance Music and Thai Trannies

2006-07-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

There are a few universals that I have noticed on my travels. Trance and house music are the same even on the other side of the world as are the trannies that come out in droves to listen to it!

I hadn't really been "out" out since I started my trip, so one night in Koh Samui I overheard some guy mention that he was spinning at a club. I asked he where and he told me. The place was supposed to really get going around 2 am, so I went home, slept, woke up at 1:30 in the morning and headed out. I wasn't sure what to expect, but what I found was surreal. It was exactly like going to a club in LA, like the Canteen, but instead I was in Thailand. Not even Thailand, but a small island off the coast.

The place was filled with people and the Dj was spinning some serious house music. I wondered around until I spotted the only other European looking woman I could find. Turns out, she lives on the island and is dating the owner of the club. She met him while travelling and never left. We met up with some of her other friends and danced until the club closed.

Funny thing is that the music was the same. I was groovin' to all my favorite songs with Awesome people on the other side of the world! Too much fun!

We ended up closing the club and heading to After Hours and danced until the sun came up!!

The Long Road to Koh Samui

2006-07-04T01:41:00.000-07:00

Everyone told me Koh Samui, an Island off the coast of Southern Thailand, was the place to go. So I arranged a side trip from Bangkok. Not having a lot of money to spend I decided the 8 hour bus ride overnight followed by the 3 hour ferry trip sounded inexpensive and adventurous. I boarded the bus around 7 pm in terrential downpour. Sopping wet, I curled into my seat (pictures to follow as soon as I get back to my laptop in Singapore). Luckily I'm one of those people who can sleep through anything. Before I knew it, it was morning. My back hurt like hell, but the ride wasn't so bad. They dropped me and about 20 other backpackers off at this rode side stand in the middle of nowhere where we used the bathroom (a small hole in the ground surrounded by walls) then waited another hour for a tiny "bus."

Really it was just the back of a covered pick up truck-- military style. We rode for about 15 minutes then got off at the ferry station. They hustled us onto the boat and off we went for the next leg of the journey. Two hours into the boad ride I was so very very glad I got a plane ticket back to Bangkok-- total travelling to return: 1 hour!

I arrived in Koh Samui and rented a motorcycle. I had read on Lonely Planet travel guide that this was the thing to do.

Mind you, I've never really driven a motorcycle before, but it was an automatic so I figured it couldn't be too difficult. I hopped aboard (giant backpack on my back, mind you) and took off down the road. It only took me moments to realize that I was driving on the wrong side of the road. YES! Thailand does that whole British thing. Head on traffic helped me figure that out fast. Keep the yellow line on your right!

About an hour drive on the motorcycle (okay... maybe I should have just flown both ways!), I arrived at my bungalow on the beach. My own private beach! I had managed NOT to kill myself on the way and I avoided getting attacked by the rampant loose running water buffalo that roam the streets.

Koh Samui rocks!

Trapped in a Thai Jail Please Call for Help

2006-07-04T01:31:00.000-07:00

Okay... not really, but as I boarded my flight from the idealic island of Koh Samui (pictures to follow when I get back to my lap top), I noticed that my credit card, bank card, and about 90 dollars had gone missing. Not sure how this happened since they were all on my body 24/7. But it's the thing nightmares are made of. Luckily I have enough money on me to get back to my guesthouse in Bangkok. I'm sitting in internet cafe right now fretting over it. I don't have access to a phone to even call and cancel my cards. I have to wait. NIGHTMARE.

Pussy Smoke Cigarette

2006-06-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

Okay... for starters, I always considered my labia to be pretty talented. They do the job. A good job, I thought. Maybe even great. I mean, I haven't heard any complaints. But one night in Bangkok proved me wrong. Apparently, my snatch has been underachieving for years and I didn't even know it. There's a world of activities it could be doing that I didn't know possible. Let me explain:

I arrived in Bangkok without a problem. Took a cab to my remote Guesthouse located in an alleyway off the main drag known as "backpacker's row." The room was not much to shake a stick at. Basic. Clean. It had a/c and a small balcony overlooking the wall of another guesthouse and a shower much like an rv-- no separate area. The shower head was attached to the wall above the toilet.

I tossed my backpack on the bed, grabbed a smaller bag and headed out for the evening. I still had about 2 hours of daylight left to do some sightseeing.

I wandered down the street completely overwhelmed, not knowing where to start. I wandered into the entrance of a nearby temple where a kind Buddhist man spotted me in my bewilderment and took pity. He told me I should hop in a tuk-tuk (a motorized rickshaw) and take a tour. He negotiated a really great price for the driver to take me to the Golden Buddha (apparently it was the Buddha's birthday and thus free for the day) then to the government run tourist station so that I could arrange my transport to Ko Samui (a nearby island). The total price for my personal tour guide-- about $1.25. Sounds great to me!

Here's a self portrait of my ride:

After completing my brief sightseeing jaunt and tourist "errands," the driver asked nonchalantly, "you want you see ping-pong show?"

Now, I've heard rumors of Thailand's famed sex industry and I had no intention of leaving the city without at least getting a glimpse of what it was all about, but I was suprised the driver asked me so casually. I thought it would be more seedy and underground, but he questioned me as if asking, "you want to see City Hall?"

I laughed and replied, "Absolutely!" Before I knew it, he had pulled up to an unmarked, plain faced building. "Here you go," he said. I shot him a look, "where are we?"

"Ping Pong, Mame. You go inside." Then an elderly Thai man in a suit came running over to me, "You come. Follow me." I was a little nervous as he guided me through a restaurant and up a staircase.

"You see ping-pong. 1000 bht." A thousand Thai Baht is about 25 dollars. Much more than I was looking to spend, but it was ping-pong. I couldn't pass this up.

"I'll give you 500."

"No, no. 700."

"Fine. 700," I agreed. This still was much more than I had to spend, but at this point I had no idea where I was and I wasn't about to walk away. I gave him my money, he took my camera, handed me a gin and tonic and guided up some more stairs into a small circular, amphi-theatre like room where a handful of tourists sat blank-faced staring at the bored Thai girl on stage who was bouncing in a bikini to the music.

I took a seat in the front row and looked around. This was not what I expected. This was nothing like an American strip club. In fact, this place couldn't be more UNsexual if it tried. The tourists looked like they were about to fall asleep as did the numerous Thai girls sitting sporadically around the theatre. To my right in the corner was an elderly woman manning the music station while simultaneously shoveling rice noodles into her mouth. Above her was a large sign that read, "No smoking," which apparently, as I was about to find out, only held true for tourists. If you're a Thai snatch, you have carte blanche.

Suddenly, the young girl on stage pulled down her black bikini bottom, removed two cigarettes from her meager cleavage, layed down on her back, raised her feet up into the air, and inserted them into her vagina. She then took a lighter, lit them, and her v-jay jay puffed away. I watched in complete awe, "mine doesn't do that," I thought.

Then, without so much as a smile or acknowledge to the crowd of onlookers of any kind, she pulled out the cigarettes and walked off stage. The crowd sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Then I heard some random guy in the corner start to clap, so I followed suit, "Yeah!" I thought. "That's talent. Why aren't you people more excited??"

The stage was empty for a moment, until another bikini clad young girl walked on. Again, she looked bored as hell, didn't look at the crowd, gyrated with such lack of inspiration, she made me want to yawn. "Come on! Where's the enthusiam?" Then, she slipped off her bikini bottom, and much like a magician pulling streams and streams of a hankerchief from his fisted palm, she started yanking a string of razor blades from her pussy. I squirmed in my seat, "my vagina DEFINITELY doesn't do that!"

After pulling about 8 feet of razors out, another girl handed her a folded up piece of paper. She took one of the razors and in lightening speed she sliced and diced and oragamied a latern, then handed it to me. All could think was, "I hope this sheet of paper wasn't in her cooch." I smiled politely and took it as the crowd half-heartedly applauded. I also wondered how ANYBODY would find this a turn on. If I was a guy and a girl removed razors from her snatch, I would run!

All in all, I saw a pussy write a letter, paint a picture, open a coke bottle, toss a ping-pong ball, peel a bananna, and do various magic tricks. I was very impressed, and a part of me felt inadequate. My vagina has been underachieving, for sure. All these activities in which it's failed to engage. So I finished my drink and walked back outside to where my tuk-tuk driver was patiently and loyally waiting.

"You like ping-pong show?" he asked.

I smiled, "Sure. It was great. Thank you very much."

I climbed aboard and off we went. I sat back and enjoyed the ride, letting the warm Thai breeze cool me down from my not so sexually enticing first evening in Bangkok.

P.S.
My pussy typed this blog entry.

Leaving Singapore for Thailand (Bangkok)

2006-06-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm boarding a plane for Thailand in 30 minutes. I'm backpacking there by myself and staying in an 5 buck a night guesthouse. Pray to Buddha for my safe return!If for some reason I end up one of those women who disappear mysteriously in a foreign country never to be heard from again... lots of love to those who know I love them. :-)

Andy Grabbed My Ass

2006-06-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

Hung out with Aiden, my friend's lovely one year old child,

then sat down for a good-ole home cooked meal before collasping from exhaustion after a long day.

Got up this morning feeling rather groggy given I was up at 2:00 am for an over-the-phone job interview. I know I'm half way around the world, but I'm still committed to finding another job. Skype is awesome. You can call for free to anywhere in the world using the internet, but given the 15 hour time difference, it's a little complicated, so I set my alarm, got up, and called the states. I was interviewing with a producer at a small, but very well known independent production company. The interview went well and I headed back to bed around 3 am narrowly missing stepping on the buick sized roach that had camped himself outside my room. They're rather insidious creatures that even manage to find their way into the nicest of places.

We lounged around in for most of the morning then headed out to get our visas for Vietnam. We hopped a cab through downtown and arrived at the Embassy exactly one minute before they were due to close, having NO idea that they shut down at 12. To boot, we had no cash on us. I have no idea what we were thinking, but the guy cut us some slack, stayed late for us, and agreed to let us pay when we picked up the visas. Dumb!

Anyway, we spent the rest of the afternoon at the Singapore Botanical Gardens. Beautiful, but very hot. About 95 degrees with absurd humidity.

April began to crumble under the heat, so I headed out for the rest of the day by myself to Chinatown. Chinatown in Singapore is pretty much like any Chinatown apart from the amazing Hindu Temple that sits in the center.

I walked around inside the temple then meandered inside an antique shop and met a man named Andy. He seemed nice enough at first. He asked me where I was from and what not. Then offered to take my picture. I decided we should take a picture together, but then we I moved closer to snap the photo, he grabbed my ass. I smiled, thanked him quickly, and got the hell out of there.

Little Arabia

2006-06-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

Spent the afternoon touring Little Arabia. We shopped alot then visited a Mosque. We had to wear robes and weren't allowed on the rugs because we're chicks and apparently unworthy of carpenting. So instead we had to walk around on the tile edging.

We had some lunch at a Malaysian cafe. The lovely gentleman behind the counter helped us pick out our meal.

And we relaxed and refueled.

Walked around around and took in more sights. Not much more to say so I'm just attaching random pictures.
Cat hanging outside. There's just something endearing about ferrel animals... they're interesting no matter what part of the world you're in.

Dried squid sold at out door market. YUMMY!

One of many beautiful banyan trees in the park.

Really awesome Singaporian man grinding coffee.

Disney like sky trams that function as public transit.

Arriving in Singapore

2006-06-26T17:58:00.000-07:00

After waiting in the very clean airport of Manila for about 4 hours, I finally boarded the plane to Singapore. A quick 3 hour flight later, we landed. I was here! Singapore. I'm officially in Southeast Asia. Wow.

I got off the plane and made my way to customs where I was greeted by a giant sign, "We're hunting for the friendliest Immigration and Check-point agent! Vote for your favorite!" Really? Cool! I'm so excited! I wait in line with anticipation and baited breath. Who am I gonna get? Will my ICA greet me with eye contact? A smile? Will they welcome me by name and bid me farewell? Most importanly, will they be sure to return my passport with both hands as a sign of respect? Let's see!

I approach Koopbaya, my ICA with a big smile on MY face. "Welcome me to Singapore, Koopkaya! I'm thrilled to be here." I thought to myself.

Without looking up, Koopbaya takes my passport, plunges the stamp on it a few times, and pushes it back to me.

"Next," she yells to the person behind me.

Wait a second? That's it? She didn't say my name. She didn't even look at me. I might not have even been the person on the passport picture for all she knew. This sucked! Koopbaya is definately not getting my vote.

Disappointed with my initial greeting into the country, I make my way to the cab stand and climb into a taxi. Wong Hon Meng, my driver, tosses my stuff into the trunk and I explain to him where I'm going, "The Caribbean at Keppel Tower, please."

"Ah! Yes, Keppel Tower. Office Buildings"

"No, I'm not going to an office. Its a resisdence," I reply.

"Yes, I know where you go. No worry."

Okay. Fine. He seems to have it under control. I settle into the back and we head out of the airport.

I look around and it Singapore so far looks like Miami Beach. Modern, colorful high-rises along the marina. McDonalds. Signs in English everywhere. Tropical trees. I do not feel like I'm in another part of the world at all until I read a sign on the road that says, "Keep left except if over-taking." Interesting. Aparently they do not merge in Singapore. They over-take. I like their boldness here. They take what they want.

About 20 minutes later, we arrive at Keppel Bay. I step out of the cab into 90 degree heat with 80 percent humidity. I pay Wong Hon Meng and make my way inside. I show the guy in the lobby the address and he laughs at me, "You're in the wrong place! This is an office building. You want the residence down the street."

Ugh! Damn that Wong Hon Meng. I trusted him! "Okay, fine. Where do I need to go?" He points to the huge condo complex a couple blocks away. I grimace and pick-up all my luggage and start walking in the heat.

Finally, I arrive, sweat pouring from my brow at the complex. I make my way to the apartment and find April, my dear friend of 15 years. I made it!!

She gives me the grand tour of their awesome apartment. Its a very modern high-rise with all the ameneties that includes a live in nanny/housekeeper.

April and I catch up for a bit before heading out into downtown Singapore for tour and some window shopping. I'm amazed at how modern the city is. It looks like I could be in New York or Chicago. In fact, its even more modern then either city. We go to the area called The Orchard. Its a shopping mecca. Gucci, Prada, Fendi you name it. High end stores. People bustling about.

We stop at an ice cream vendor that catches my eye. He's taking out huge bricks of ice cream, slicing it, and serving it to people between slices of bread. I'm fascinated. April explains that you can have your slice between various items such as bread, wafers, cookies, or just in a cup if you prefer. Ice cream between bread sounds unappealing, so we order our slice of coffee ice cream between wafers. Its AMAZING.

We continue the tour down a historic street. The arcitecture is old colonial. We step into this whiskey bar and tour around. More whiskey then I've ever seen in one location.

The rest of the houses around this area are equally amazing. There are some businesses, but mostly these old homes are used as resident housing.

We top off our shopping site-seeing excursion with a little reflexology treatment which after travelling for so many hours felt like heaven.

Lastly, we headed out to Little India to restaurant called The Bannana Leaf where they plop food down onto a bannana leaf. It feels like you're eating off the table. The food was incredible but extremely spicy.

So! That's my first day in Singapore. Got to bed around 11 pm and slept like a baby!

The Departure Part Three: A Fat Man Provides Me Comfort

2006-06-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

As I settled into my overcrowed flight, I am actually pleasantly surprised by the fact that I'm sitting next to a grossly obese Asian Man who apparently was forced to purchase two seats for the flight. I have the window seat and he takes the aisle seat leaving his fatty spill over seat in the middle free for the taking. For the thirteen hour flight to Manila I have extra space in which to sleep and prop up my newly tattooed leg. I sleep comfortably for ten hours of the flight.

When I awake, the romantic comedy FAILURE TO LAUNCH with Sarah Jessica Parker has just begun and my specially ordered vegetarian meal is sitting on the tray next to me ready to eat. Perfect timing. I put on my headphones and munched down on my eggplant and rice breakfast of champions. By the time I'm done eating and the movie is over, we're minutes from Manila.

I almost want to thank my obese travel campanion. Without him, I would have been shoved up against a window for 13 hours. He made the trip bearable. So... Thank you fat man for sharing your extra seat. I'm sorry your flight cost you a fortune, but you provided comfort and ease to fellow adventure seeker. You're money did not go wasted or unappreciated.

The Departure Part Two: Waiting and Waiting at the Gate

2006-06-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the airport at 8 pm for my 10 pm flight and made my way to Philipine Airlines only to find about a million other travellers waiting in line at the baggage check. Since I was carrying my luggage there was no way I was dealing with this line. I made my way to the first class check in. My ticket maybe coach, but I'm first class in my own brain... which is all that matters. The lady at the ticket counter agreed and expedited my check-in. I then made my way through security, which was amazingly fast and easy. No hassles. No searches. I just walked right through.

Unfortunately, being there quickly did me little good when I got to the gate and found out that the flight was no longer making a stop over in Guam and was thusly, leaving later: at Midnight. I know had three hours to kill so I went and got some food and hunkered down for the long wait.

Then around 11:30 they announced a gate change and about 300 tired, cranky people loaded up their stuff and walked down the terminal to the different gate. Then around midnight, they started boarding. Strangely, however, the plane was actually parked several terminals away, so they loaded us all into these cramped busses and shipped up down the tarmac to our plane where we finally boarded the flight.

Preparing for Departure: Getting Tattooed

2006-06-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Its Saturday June 24th and I'm preparing to leave in a few hours. And what do I do to prepare myself? I get a tattoo. I know its an odd thing to do before heading out on a 25 hour plane ride to the other part of the world, but I wanted to mark this journey with something meaningful. Plus, I've had the ugliest tattoo on my leg for years that I wanted covered up. I had met this guy at the Hollywood Canteen the week before who had the sickest tattoos I have ever seen, so I got the name of his guy: SUNG. I gave Sung a call, we visited, consulted, collaborated, and I made an appointment for hours before my plane was set to depart. The final decision after much thought? A flaming lotus.

The lotus is one of Buddhism's most significant symbols. It is a symbol of enlightenment and mental purity. The blue lotus, in particular, is associated with Manjusri and symbolizes wisdom and is often depicted with flames. It hurt like a bitch. Kinda like someone slicing a razor into your skin. Not fun. But Sung did good work.